Teacher Journals #4

“Fearing Parents”

I hope I have not already written about this topic. However I have found the thought of parents to be a terrible source of anxiety for me. I have not been able to stop thinking about how disappointed or angry parents might be with me. I want to help their students succeed and I want them to be pleased with what is going on in the classroom. However, I am so afraid of failing or not meeting expectations, it causes me all kinds of anxiety whenever I know a meeting with parents is approaching.

I get anxious because of language barriers. Two of my students are Hispanic and one is Hmong. The parents of the Hispanic students only speak Spanish. So I worry in communicating with them, what of my heart and of my intent is lost in translation. What desires do they have for their children that they can not voice to me because of a lack of vocabulary or comfort?

I get anxious because of reputations. One of my students has parents that have a terrible reputation. They are known for being rude and manipulative. They scare everybody in the meetings. I am on the verge of cardiac arrest waiting for them to be upset about something when we have our monthly progress meetings. However, all of that anxiety has been misplaced. I have had no bad encounters with them as of yet. They have been frustrated with things carrying over from last year, but as of yet, nothing negative has happened yet.

I actually have good rapport with one of my student’s parents. His mom is a bus driver at the school, and so I see her every day in the morning and afternoon. I chat with her about her son and his school day. I have been able to learn a lot about him, his family, and home life. I really like that and want more of that dynamic with other parents, but it is all a work in progress so far.

I have made efforts to ignore the warnings of my supervisor and colleagues and try to reach out to the “high maintenance” parents I spoke of earlier. I understand the districts fears of not wanting to upset them, because they have taken the district to due process before, but I want to build positive relationships as much as possible. I have had positive interactions so far. The mother brought in treats for the Halloween party, the father offered to give me a bunch of comic books for my classroom when he found out I liked them, and the mother brought in donuts for a social skills group her son is involved in. I like them, I am terrified that they will eventually blow up at me, but I like them none the less.

So fearing parents is probably natural for new teachers. My fears have been unnecessary so far. I have had no major clashes with parents besides one explosive aftermath of an IEP. I think I just need to remind myself to take one day at a time and let things happen as they do.