Weeping and Gnashing of teeth...

Today was the last day of being a para at M.E. Pearson Elementary School. I had to say goodbye to my six students:
*Runner (my personal favorite)
*Hot Wheels
*Wheelchair
*Paperboy
*Chubbs
*Shy Guy

I was fine all day until I buckled Paperboy's seat belt on his bus and started to think about how I'll never be buckling him up again, and just started crying. I went and said goodbye to all of my students on their buses, and when I got on Chubbs' bus his bus-driver asked if my allergies were acting up. I don't have allergies, but I said "Yes." because I didn't want her to know I was crying.
I cried especially as I walked onto Runner's bus. I couldn't even bring myself to say bye to him, so I just gave him a hi-five and walked off the bus.

There were these girls that named me "Maria" and told me to paint my nails everyday.
They saw my eyes were red and watery, and asked me why I was crying, and I told them because I'm going to miss them. The oldest one is in the fifth grade and she asked me why I had to leave. The only real reason I would leave kids I love, is for money, so I said "For money." So she said, "You see it's always money. Money, money, money." And she's in the fifth grade.

I felt dirty. I had just admitted buying into the American dream to a fifth grader. Shame on me.

Then I got back up into the classroom and another wave of sadness hit me and I just happened to be kneeling on the ground cleaning the classroom. I almost started weeping really loud. Not crying, but a full on weeping and gnashing fit. I contained it because I didn't want the women to feel any more sorry for me.

Then for in-service the two teachers and paras I work with had a going away party for me. It was fun.

But my eyes hurt.


These new kids have a lot to live up to. Tha's all I'm saying.