Three Reasons I would rather have broken my Arm:
1. You support your whole body on your two legs. Unless you are in Cirque d'Soleil/do yoga, you probably cannot balance your whole body on one leg. I mean I can...I am surprisingly agile for somebody 6'3"...but I can not walk on one leg. I cannot even crawl on only one leg.
2. I worry about my level of physicality after my leg heals. Will I be able to run as fast, hurdle over fences, climb over walls, leap over ottomans.
3. Laying around on my back with my legs propped on a pillow is boring.
Pain medications are no joking matter. I do not understand how people get addicted to it. It makes you feel exhausted all the time and numb to everything. My mind cannot focus on anything besides TV or I fall asleep. (I'm yawning like a stubborn infant while typing this.) Worse though -- pain medications constipate you. So on top of my pain medications, I have had to take stool softeners like a septuagenarian. A bowel movement has become an exercise to say the least.
I have watched a lot of TV though. Which makes me thankful that we have HBO. It is an unnecessary expense, but there are a lot of movies on there and sometimes you find a treasure. Besides you watch a movie or two and then it is about time for the next dose of narcotics. Other than HBO, have over 100 channels, so I just scroll through and find something eventually.
Observations about TV:
1. HBO has excellent documentaries. Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel is awesome. They had an episode on today about the corruption within college sports. Like the fact that college athletes basically sign away their image and it can be used on anything that the university sees fit to use it on. The language in this agreement differs from school to school, but one university that they spotlighted said that they had rights to the athlete's image "forever and throughout the universe". Wow. And I saw this gun contol documentary called "Gun Fight", which was pretty recently made/completed because it had footage concerning the Arizona congresswoman that was shot. It was definitely more in favor of stricter gun control laws and/or stricter enforcement of the current laws. So they put in some news clips about crazy things that have happened to people that own guns: a) this guy was having trouble drilling holes in the wall, so he shot holes in the wall with a .22 and one of the holes pierced his wife in the chest and she died; b) this guy was scared there was an intruder in his house and he shot his wife in the chest...it is the freak accidents like that which frighten me about guns. A crazy thing it showed was this mom/dad/son were at a shooting range. The security camera caught the mom standing with her gun behind her son, pointed at his head -- she killed him. Crazy.
2. I wish the new Fast & Furious movie would come out already. They are advertising that thing like crazy. It does look kinda cool compared to the other ones, but it still has Vin Diesel in it. (I cannot believe Lynette likes him.)
3. I really like the Old Navy commercial with the little pretty guy singing about the girl in the dress. It is my guilty pleasure. Old Navy is taking the commercial jingle to a whole new level.
4. I hate these unscientific propaganda commercials as industries try and fight change or negative reports about their product:
- a) Clean Coal - Wrong. It is one of the dirtier of the fossil fuels, either tied with petroleum/oil or a very second. Unless they are really changing the way coal is burnt/processed for conversion into engergy - I just cannot buy it. Too much proof to the contrary. Same with positive oil commercials. Sorry guys, time to move over and make way for Wind, Solar, and Biomass energy. And no way Congress, I do not want investment in Nuclear energy. Radiation is not cool, and neither is Chernobyl or Northeastern Japan.
- b) Corn Sugar - Sorry, your scientific name is High Fructose Corn Syrup. It is what is in most American food products. We grow a lot of corn, we do not grow a lot of sugar cane. It is what is in all pop except for these "retro pops made with real sugar" (which are a test market campaign for pop companies to see if they can survive the healthy food craze...so if you like pop and want it to be better for you...support the "retro pops"). That farmer saying, "You know what I was doing my research and when you eat corn sugar and real sugar, the body cannot really tell the difference." Since when mofo? My ass. That my friends is complete bullshit. That's why all the pops have a "Zero" or some variant now. (Would you buy Coke Sugar Free? or Pepsi SugarLess? Nah, me either.) Because the High Fructose Corn Syrup used to sweeten pops, is unrecognizable to your body, and cannot be digested and your body changes it to fat. That is science. Scientific fact. The observable, natural reaction of digestion that occurs. It is why I have a pop belly. Come on corn industry, no need to just outright lie and hide behind a gullible farmer you paid to read a cue card.
- c) Taco Bell...though they only ran their campaign for a week, and it was all but disappeared from TV long before I broke my leg. Like a scientific team just wanted to pick on little ol' Taco Bell. Sorry TB, most of the time your food is digestible, but hardly delicious...it's not beyond the realm of possibility that you use subpar meet in your food. Just sayin'...
So I stalled out on writing this post earlier. Now I have a cast on my leg/ankle. Let me advise, if you ever break a leg, campaign for a cast. It is much more snug and comfortable. Not to mention easier to sleep in. I don't need 4 pillows propping my leg up to be comfortable either. All the tension in my leg from having it constantly extended is taking quite a toll on my knee.
The grossest part about getting my cast, was the 25 staples in my leg. Seeing them and then hearing that the orthopaedic technician was going to have to take them out, caused me to go into a panic. I did not know that I had them, I did not know how it was going to feel to have them taken out, so I freaked. I mean it looked inhuman, it frightened me. I could not handle it, which made Lynette start to panic. Turns out staple removal does not hurt. But staples and their wounds look nasty.
My first day back at work, was one of the most awesome days of being a teacher. All of my students were excited to see me. Majority of them signed my cast except for Headbanger and Attitude (he's a new student I got in like January, not much to write home about, let alone write about on my blog). They made cards for me. One of them had me in a wheelchair being pushed by Lynette. One of them had a wheelchair that looked like a flatbed truck. Two had cards where they just drew pictures of things they like, such as movies and X-Box 360. My best little buddy "Hot Wheels" drew a card with me, him, and his father performing on American Idol. And all the students contributed to a banner that hung on the wall and said, "Welcome Back Mr. Droge". Choked me up a little bit.
"That's about all I have to say about that."
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