That Darn Cat...

I am housesitting for my best friend and his wife who went to Alabama on vacation. They recently adopted a kitten whom they found outside of a park nearby their house.

I'm not a cat person. I'm a bit of a kitten person, because cats are cute when they are tiny and young. All things are cute when they are tiny and young. It is inevitable.

However "Tuna" and I are inseperable. A regular "cat whisperer" am I. He comes over, I pet him, he seeks my hand out like a fat kid does cake. When he's walked longer than the extent of my arm, he turns around rapidly to get more of that "petting" action. He even sleeps well with me. When he is close to me, he's like a massage cushion stuck on "High Vibrate". He just starts purring non-stop. (A fact that got him tossed out of bed twice while I was in the "falling to sleep stage".)

However tonight, he has crossed some lines that kittens should not cross.

I was emptying my body of waste, and he he bit my big toes. Once on each foot. He's still sniffing around them as I'm typing this like they're sardines or something.

I also decided to lay around with my shirt off, because I hate clothing. Problem is my abnormally large nipples. Well they're just always erect. My uncle Terry Pat told me when I was a teen and really bony thin, that I "looked like a horny 12 year-old girl" (pre pubescent girl whose breast haven't formed, so all she would have are nipples). My friends have called them "peanut nipples", "doorknobs", and "Frankenstein bolts".

Tuna in his feline nature slinked up to me and started sniffing my chest. Then he bit my nipple.
Yep, he BIT my nipple.

I mean what the hell. That's just a low blow. And from a kitten. Even nature's getting cracks in on me.

humbug.